


Lack

by Wysteria



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Existential Crisis, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Maybe explicit later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-02-07
Packaged: 2019-10-24 04:28:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17697650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wysteria/pseuds/Wysteria
Summary: As Ventus steps into the cold, his chest becomes full of the feeling from earlier. It wasn't pity. It wasn't sadness. It was something else. Something that left him blank, like the sky above his head, and the snow beneath his feet.Sort of a re-write of an old fic from my FF.net account. Will edit tags later.





	Lack

In this small village outside the castle of Radiance, people used to live their lives like anyone else. Not anymore. Not since a creature had taken up hostel in the forest. It would come and take people in the night, their screams dying in their throats before they had the chance to even make them. Because of that, no one moved there for a while. Every day, another house went vacant, the owner being an unfortunate, who'd fallen victim, or even the spouse themselves, no longer able to keep up with life alone after the tragedy. So when an old man and his grandson came to the town looking for refuge, it was inevitable for curious eyes to lay on them. 

The man's features; a beard and sunken face, as far as everyone could see, were rather common. It was his eyes that drew attention. A piercing color like hot amber, that his grandson, who the people later learned was Vanitas, matched as well. Where the old man stood bald, the young man had a shock of black hair, wild and unkempt about his face.

No one really knew where it was they came from. When asked, the man replied, “A place where light doesn't reach.”  
Now everyone thought that absurd. There was nowhere the sun didn't cast its rays. It was how the crops grew in the summer, and the snow melt in the winter. The two settled into the cottage just a little up the hill—closest to the forest. It was Vanitas' request. He didn't want to be bothered by anyone while he took care of his dying grandfather; much to his dismay, so when the attacks started again, they were the last to even hear about it. It was a young man who had broken the news for them.  
Vanitas looked at the blonde shivering outside his door, whose blue eyes seem just as laden with exhaustion as his own. 

“What do you want?” 

The boy cleared his throat before speaking, glancing a little to catch the darkness inside the house. He turned back to the raven-haired to answer, aware that it was well into the middle of the night. “My name is Ventus,” he said. “and I wanted to warn you about the thing that's been attacking the village lately.”

“Thing? Oh, you mean the monster.” Vanitas' voice is calm when he utters the word, and Ventus wonders why he was not fearful. “I've heard it,” He continues, “I hear their screams, too.”

Ventus nods. “Y-yeah. I wanted to tell you to be careful. I know your grandfather isn't well so...”

“Don't worry about us. And besides, if that beast does attack--” He thrusts something shiny in front of Ventus' face. “I'll just cut them up.”  
It takes him a moment to register, before he realizes it's an axe. Ventus takes a step back from the door. “Right. Well, it's late, and I need to head back before Eraqus finds out I'm gone.”

“You snuck out?”

“Yeah, he didn't want me out here. Nobody did.” There's hesitation on his face before the blonde speaks again. “The town doesn't like you.”

Vanitas scoffed. There's something he knew already.

“I'm not gonna write you off like them though.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah! So if you ever need someone to talk to, come hang out with me!” Ventus points out his house among the ones below. “Well, gotta go now! Goodnight!” He makes his way further down the slope, his strides made awkward from the twelve inches of snow. He gets further and further, until Vanitas can no longer make him out in the distance. Turning back inside, the boy sits the axe against the wall. His grandfather comes from kitchen. He can make out his hunched gait even in the dark.

“Who was that?” He says.

“Just a neighbor, go back to sleep.”

It was a cold winter, and the man needed the rest more than ever. He sighs, his brow set heavy with agitation. “I see, but there's no need to talk with him further. You understand, don't you?”

The Ravenette is reluctant to answer. He thinks back to what Ventus had said to him only moments ago. It gives him a piece of mind he didn't realize he wanted. “I understand.” He walks past the man and up the stairs. “Goodnight.” He says it in that sort of tone when one meant their words for no one in particular around them. His grandfather won't respond. He knows that. But he couldn't help saying it anyway.

 

The sun meets Vanitas’s tired eyes earlier than usual the next day, and he decides he might as well get up. He needed to do some shopping, and the store clerk would be merciful if he came in early enough. Pulling himself up from the bed, he grabs his clothes already set out the night before, and gets into the shower. He grunts a little when he turns on the faucet, the cold water splashing his face like icicles. It was too much to hope that the hot water problem would have been fixed by now. He washes up quickly and gets dressed. Heading downstairs, he doesn't bother with breakfast. The clatter would just wake his grandfather, who was still sleeping. Vanitas locks the door behind him. He decided he wanted to buy some new winter clothes. His coat, as much as he liked it, was starting to become threadbare, and the weather made him realize how his scarf was just too thin. He reminds himself to cut extra wood for the hearth later tonight. He is too immersed in his thoughts to notice the early birds staring in silence at him. He was used to their looks anyway. Suddenly, he notices something down in the thick snow. A manila-colored envelope. He picks it up from the ground, brushing off the snow that was dampening it. He tried to recall the mailman who always made his daily rounds through the village. He chuckles a little. That's what you get for being hasty. He tucks the letter inside his coat pocket and continues on his way.

“Just another moment, ma'am.” Ventus searches through the contents of his mailbag for the third time.  
The anxiousness of the old woman does nothing for his mind, and he lets out another nervous sigh. “It seems I've lost it.” It hurts him to see the change in the woman now. 

“Oh dear,” She says, “That was a most important letter. You're sure that you can't find it?”  
Ventus nods. “I'm really sorry, but I'll be sure to go look for it once I'm done delivering the rest of the mail!” He smiles, holding the woman's small hands in his, trying to reassure her.  
The woman thanks him for the gesture, before he sets off again.

Vanitas clutches his bag of clothing tight to his chest. Soon he wouldn't have to be wearing such old clothes anymore. This was good. The clerk didn't give him a hard time. He'd be able to get back home in time to start breakfast for his grandfather. This was good. Just as he is crossing the snow-paved road, he spots someone. It's the kid from yesterday, and he's already forgotten his name. He didn't like to commit to memory people he thought he'd never see again. But there he was. It was a ridiculous sight, The young man hunched over in the snow, his hands moving over the ground like he was searching for something.

“What the hell are you doing?”

The harsh tone in his voice surprises the blonde, and he looks up at the source. “Oh, it's you! What brings you out to town today?”  
His voice is cheerful, but the Ravenette can tell he is worried. What was this guy making such a big deal over? Vanitas looks at him, an unreadable expression on his face. “I'm just on my way back from the store,” he says. “Nothing much.” He notices the mailbag around the blonde's shoulder, and the letter comes back to his mind. He pulls it out of his pocket.

“I found this. I don't know if--”

“Wow, you found it?” Ventus takes the letter from him, running his fingers over the signature on the front. “Great! I can go deliver this now. Thanks, uh...” He trails off, unsure of what to say. “Oh yeah, I didn't get your name yesterday.”

Vanitas sighs, like it's some kind of chore to be giving out his own name. “It's Vanitas.”

“Right! I'll remember it!” Ventus puts the letter into his mailbag. “Will you wait here a sec? I'll be right back.”  
He heads off in the opposite direction of the store, and from his speed, Vanitas admits he is a bit surprised. He guessed the town didn't pick just any old person for the job. The chill of the wind bites his face and his fingers are starting to feel numb, but he tells himself, that old man can wait. A part of him just wanted to break the routine, he told himself that, too. It wasn't because he wanted to take up the offer he was given the night before.  
Before long, Ventus returns, panting and out of breath. “Oh good,” He says. “You're still here.”  
“Seriously,” Vanitas says, looking him over. “Why do you always run everywhere? And why wouldn't I be?” He curses under his breath when he realizes he let those last words slip from his lips.

“Well, it's just a habit I picked up. I thought you were going to try to follow me.”

“Follow you? I'm not a stalker.”

The bewildered expression on the Ravenette's face is enough to make the blonde laugh.  
The next moment finds them both down in the snow. Vanitas leans in, his fingers digging hard into Ventus' shoulder.

“Shutup.”

The tone surprises Ventus as much as himself. All of the stares and insults he'd ever gotten, didn't bother him as much as that laugh.

Ventus puts his hands up in defense. “Whoa,” He said. “I didn't mean anything bad by it, honest!”

Seeing the look in his eyes makes Vanitas go silent, and without another word, he gets off him. He wonders if he should help the blonde to his feet, and then thinks better of it. Instead, he turns and walks away. 

“You're leaving?”

 

The boy hears that distinctness in the blonde’s voice that echoes his own feelings. A heavy feeling, that makes the words he wanted to say strangle in his throat. 

“Yeah,” he said. “I am.”

 

When Vanitas returns home, his grandfather is seated at the table, reading the paper through his thick glasses. “Where were you?” He asks.  
“Thanks for the concern, but I was just getting some clothes.” The ravenette holds up the bag in front of him.  
“You didn't see that boy again, did you? “  
“No”, The question didn't come as a surprise. Xehanort must have noticed something was bothering him. Not wanting to keep the conversation going any longer than needed, Vanitas moves into the kitchen to prepare breakfast. Too tired to make the usual, he settles on grits, pouring milk in the mix of dry batter, and setting the burner on low. When it finishes, he sets the bowl in front of his grandfather. “Enjoy.” The word seeps out like venom from his lips, not bothering to try to mask his anger anymore. As he heads up the stairs, his mind is already wandering back to the warmth of his bed.

“So you're telling me, there’s this girl you met, and you wanna talk with her again, but she’s really cold?” Ventus’ friend, Aqua, was the head of the only library in the village. Because of the size, work never seemed to end, but she had been kind enough to take a break from categorizing to listen to his problems.

“No,” Ventus said. He sinks a little further into his seat. “It's not like she's cold, more like….she doesn't know how to be around other people or something. I think she gets bullied and...uh.”  
Aqua crossed her arms. “Ven, you know, you're not a very good liar. Who is this really about?”

“I just...want to make a friend.”

“It’s Vanitas, isn’t it?”

He hears the disapproval in her voice, and under the desk, Ventus is twiddling his thumbs, trying to distract himself from the feeling in his chest that he can't quite name. “And what's wrong with that? Ever since you became head of the library, you've become so busy, and Terra,” he recalls when he first noticed the change in him.  
He'd been going out to the forest to get him but he only would tell him to return to the village, his face looking morr tired and dirty each day.  
I don't get why everyone acts like Vanitas is some kind of disease. He hasn't done anything wrong.”

“Ven.” Her voice wavers over the word, and Ventus knew that she was about to slip into another of her condescending lectures.

“There’s just something not right about them. You remember what Vanitas’ grandfather said, right? About coming from a place where the light doesn’t reach?”

Ventus scoffs. “Aqua, please don’t start with that light and dark shit again. I don't want to hear it.”

Aqua sighs. She had expected that Ventus was going to call her out on nonsense again, and she says to herself that he’s still too young to understand. 

Ventus gets up from the desk. “Thanks for the help, Aqua,” he says. “I couldn't have asked for more.” He heads out of the room and out of the library. He hears Aqua call out to him, but he doesn't stop. The cold draft reaches his face when he opens the door, and as he takes a step into the white snow, he thinks, maybe he should apologize. 

 

This is how it's always been.  
The words relay over and over in his mind.  
He'd always been, always ever would be, a child in Terra and Aqua's eyes. He was immature, inexperienced. Things had been different before he got there. A famine had stunted the town.  
When you have to watch children around you starve, even as your own bellies are fed—there's no greater guilt.  
Those words Terra had told him, made him cold and numb inside.  
That is hardship. The hardship that turns boys into men, and then kills the hope inside them. He pushes the negative thoughts to the back of his mind. Now was not the time to settle into bad habits. He decided he would take a stroll, if one could even call it that in a place that was more than two feet under.

He decides to head off to the forest to see if he could catch some small game. He's seen Terra do it numerous times--even coming back with a deer once. The coming months of winter are going to be much harsher this year, and having extra food will be important. He did also know that having the right tools would be crucial as well. 

Just a little ways from the bakery, there was a game shop that he used to go to with his father. He rememberes as a child, how intimidating the gunman in the store had seemed, and wondered after all these years if time had mellowed him at all. Holding up his papers, the clerk looks at them disapprovingly.

“Young man, you're only twenty? You need to be twenty-one have a permit. Right here in the rules, see?” 

Ventus glares at the sign behind him on the wall, surrounded by various shotguns and rifles; as if it is an eyesore. Not a fiesty temperament, but still frustrating in it's own way. This is a man that does not like to bend the rules.

“Are you for real? I'm just one year off. Can't you cut me some slack?”

“Sorry, no can do.”

“Then”, Ventus said, sighing in frustration. “What can you give me?”

The clerk places a knife in his hands. 

“Take a look at this blade.”

Ventus takes it out of the sheath, 

“....isn't this to skin animals?”

“Yup! You go huntin’ with your old man, don't ya? That'll be good for you.” The man grins at him with such an unknowing smile. Crooked. 

“I don't---” Ventus nearly slams the knife on the table, his patience all but run out. “I don't need it!”

He rushes out the door in a huff. Cursing as he stubs his foot on the door stop.

Why does everyone in this town always assume things? His father and him. They didn't do those things. Not since the attacks started again. Who in their right mind would go hunting out like this. Everyone assumed Terra; knew that he was mad trying to catch the beast itself. But Ventus? Why does he want to try hunting? 

To what? To keep busy? To feel useful? 

Losing his temper this much--it isn't like him. 

Whenever he gets like this, there is only one thing to help clear his thoughts. Running from one edge of the village to the next. It may be a weird method, but he loves the rush of adrenaline that just leaves his mind blank. And this too, is the reason he became so good at his job as mailman. He knows every nook and cranny about the place. But that is besides the point.

It takes him a little while, a little over an hour, but by the time he makes it to the other side, he is out of breath. Little does he know, the man watching him from the snowy hill above. Ventus expects some weird remark, or a harsh joke, yet Vanitas just looks down at him silently. 

“What's up?” Ventus tries to break the silence. 

“You look upset.”

Ventus’s face heats up instantly. Is he that easy to read?

“I...I shouldn't have lashed out like that I guess.”

Ventus racks his brain, trying to come up with a response.

“That's not--I’m not--” 

He falls into silence again.

Vanitas walks down to join his side.

“You said I could talk to you about stuff if i wanted to right?”

He looks him dead in the eye. “So let's talk.”

**Author's Note:**

> I finally decided to come back to this fic after 3 years. KH3 had given me inspiration to continue writing again, so here I am.
> 
> My old works I've already finished on my FF account will stay as I kind of want to start over here.


End file.
